Soulmate Gem
Photo by Innoh Khumbuza Pexels Logo Photo: Innoh Khumbuza

Do you ever stop loving someone fully?

While it may feel impossible and certainly takes time to stop loving someone, it's absolutely possible to do just that. In fact, you may find that in no longer loving this person you open yourself up to the possibility of loving others — and even yourself.

What is the most optimistic tarot card?
What is the most optimistic tarot card?

The Sun: The happiest card in the tarot deck, this represents positivity and optimism. Jul 19, 2022

Read More »
Do soulmates recognize each other?
Do soulmates recognize each other?

Soulmates are destined to meet and while your head may not recognise them, your heart will. Soul recognition comes in many forms, it can be subtle...

Read More »

Although it’s a difficult task, figuring out how to stop loving someone can be an important and meaningful choice — one that involves gaining distance and connecting with other people and activities in your life that bring you joy. While it may feel impossible and certainly takes time to stop loving someone, it’s absolutely possible to do just that. In fact, you may find that in no longer loving this person you open yourself up to the possibility of loving others — and even yourself.

Here are some practical tips to help you stop loving someone:

1. Accept That You Still Love Them

While it may seem counterintuitive, a helpful first step in ceasing to love someone is actually accepting that you love them in the first place. Research shows that avoiding your emotions can actually make it harder to cope and change your thinking patterns. This can, in turn, change the course of painful emotions like love.1 To accept your love for this person, carefully examine why you love them and how they make you feel without judging the fact that you still love them.

2. Consider the Relationship for What it Was

Once you’ve accepted that you still love this person and what it is about them you love, it can be helpful to explore other areas of the relationship, such as what needs of yours weren’t met and what you wish were different. List these out factually (for example, “This person avoided spending time with my family, and that’s something I love doing”) and keep the list somewhere you can return to if you need a reminder of why you need to move on.

3. Identify How Loving Them is Out of Line With Your Values

Considering the relationship for what it was often illuminates the ways in which loving this person is out of line with your values. To stop loving someone, identify your core values (e.g., “honesty” or “passion”) and list out the ways that loving this person doesn’t align with them. For example, “Loving someone who’s a homebody doesn’t align with my value of spontaneity.” Because one of the functions of values is to influence how you choose to live your life, looking at how loving the person doesn’t align with your values can help you move on from them.

4. Act Opposite to Love

What is the best age to meet your husband?
What is the best age to meet your husband?

That's right - the research found that the average woman finds their life partner at the age of 25, while for men, they're more likely to find...

Read More »
What cultures don t kiss?
What cultures don t kiss?

Indeed, some 650m people—or about 10% of the world—don't partake at all. Until contact with the West, for example, kissing wasn't practiced among...

Read More »

All emotions produce “action urges,” which are behaviors you are called to act on following an emotional experience. When you feel love toward someone, you may have the action urge of reaching out to them or looking through pictures of them. To change an emotion, identify a close opposite of the action urge. The opposite of reaching out to someone could be reaching out to a close friend or turning off your phone altogether. Research shows that acting opposite to an emotion can interrupt an emotional cycle and even reverse it.2 Keep in mind that acting opposite to strong urges that aren’t in your best interest is something that needs to be practiced repeatedly and wholeheartedly in order to produce the desired effects.

5. Remove Reminders of Them

Another way to stop loving someone is by removing reminders of them. This will help you to stop thinking about them. Consider getting rid of or moving out of view items such as goods you’d purchased together and photographs. By avoiding as many reminders of the person as you can, you’re changing the way your brain experiences the love you’re trying to stop. Studies show that specific and unique areas of the brain become activated when viewing the face of someone you love romantically, and that this kind of activation is stronger than simply thinking about someone or hearing their voice.3,4

6. Get Physical Distance

It can also be helpful to set boundaries around engaging with the person you’re trying to stop loving. While it may not be possible to avoid the person entirely (perhaps you live in the same small town), consider other ways to get distance such as by going to a gym you know they don’t belong to. Having space between you will help you avoid cues (such as seeing their face) that might prompt feelings of love, and will also help you adjust to — and accept — life without them.

Can you fall in love at 11?
Can you fall in love at 11?

“Kids can fall in love by all developmental measures as soon as you can begin to measure their feelings,” says Carleton Kendrick, EdM, a Boston-...

Read More »
What is the first sense to leave the body?
What is the first sense to leave the body?

“First hunger and then thirst are lost. Speech is lost next, followed by vision. The last senses to go are usually hearing and touch.” Sep 9, 2016

Read More »
Is your first breakup the hardest?
Is your first breakup the hardest?

The First Love Breakup The First Love breakup is one of the toughest to overcome. Some say you never get over it (opens in new tab). This breakup...

Read More »
What kind of personalities attract each other?
What kind of personalities attract each other?

Kindness And Positivity. A 2014 study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, found a link between positive personality...

Read More »