Soulmate Gem
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Do we kiss with tongue?

You don't have to use your tongue through the entire make out session. If you want to just kiss without tongue too, it's totally fine. When you ARE using tongue, your go-to move when Frenching can be a massage between your two tongues. You can also try different things and see what feels most comfortable.

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Learning how to French kiss is easier said than done. And, a truly amazing, off the wall, blockbuster movie-style kiss has enough power to make you dizzy and weak in the knees. Does that sound cheesy? Because I’m pretty convinced that cheesy sayings were born after people experienced a next-level make out session. Kissing can be the best, seriously. There is almost nothing better than making out. Even when you get older, move into adulthood, and gain more experience with things other than kissing, it doesn’t lose its appeal. Of course, kissing is an ~art~ and it takes time to perfect it. Trust me, we all have anxiety about being “bad” kissers, experienced or not, and we’ve all Googled “what to do with your tongue when you kiss.” So if you’re feeling stressed about how to kiss with tongue, you are not alone. The French Kiss is not something every single person can automatically do with no practice or tips. TBH, for the vast majority of us, putting a tongue in someone’s mouth is scary if you’ve never done it before (and even when you have). You want to have that incredible, weak knees, dizzy kissing session, not a slobbery dog-like experience wherein someone is spitting all over you. You may have seen people kissing passionately in movies, and it may have looked impulsive and spur of the moment. In real life, you don't want to "just go for it." Be sure to always ask before you kiss someone so, you know both of you are sure this is something you want to do.

What is a French kiss?

This kind of kissing goes by a few names: deep kiss, making out, snogging, tongue kissing, necking. The idea is simple, in theory: The only difference between “regular” kissing and French kissing is that the latter involves a bit of tongue. Though, how much tongue is completely up to those doing the kissing. The mouth is full of erogenous zones, so kissing with tongue can often feel different than kissing without tongue, apart from the obvious addition. French kissing is a relatively new phrase to the English language and culture, arriving in the States (and Britain) in the early 1900s. It earned its name because French culture was thought to be a bit more sexually adventurous and passionate. To get you started on your path to be a true make out champion, we asked a few seasoned maker-outers for their best suggestions.

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Here are a few golden tips to perfect the French kiss.

Do some prep

All lips are good lips, let’s start there. But if you want to dress them up a bit for the occasion, there are a couple of routes you can take. Lip gloss can be tempting… and it can also make a complete mess. Same goes for lipstick. If you want to soften things up for your partner, consider a bit of lip balm. You can reapply as much as you want without worrying about all of it ending up on someone else’s face.

Kick it off with some flirting

Making the first move can be intimidating, but someone has to do it. If you’ve decided to take it on, make sure and take careful note of your partner’s body language. Small, flirtatious touches can go a long way, but being direct is another good option. Telling someone you want to kiss them (and making sure they’re on the same page) can be a really empowering experience. Starting off with some thoughtful conversation is the best way to set the scene—here are some questions to ask your crush to get started.

Set the scene

Like with any other kiss or sexual situation, you want to make sure you’re in a comfortable place. Attempting a French kiss on a crowded bus is going to be much less fun than in the park or at home. Even better if you’re somewhere you can control the music, lighting, and a candle or two. Keep in mind that comfort levels are different for everyone, and the spaces you feel comfortable kissing may not be the same for your partner. This is a great conversation topic that will not only help you navigate this particular situation, but get to know your partner better.

Enthusiasm is important

Be passionate, and prescient, while simultaneously being able to fully enjoy the moment...it also really gives you a leg up if you love the person you're kissing. -Greg, 12 years of kissing experience.

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