Soulmate Gem
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Do twin flames need romance?

Contrary to popular belief, the concept of twin flames is not the same as soul mates. Your twin flame doesn't even have to be someone you fall in love with (although it often is). "This kind of high-level, soul-based connection isn't about romance. It's about spiritual growth," says Vallejos.

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A "twin flame" isn't necessarily a romantic soul mate or what someone might call “the one” — but they will always change your life, often from the very first time you cross paths.

Have you ever met somebody who completely changed the course of your life? It might have been your twin flame. You're unsure exactly why, but the meeting feels destined. They might not be your usual type or anyone you expected to fall for. But you do fall and hard. If twin flame relationships could be summed up in one word, it would be "intense." This is a person with whom you have such an intense connection, it feels nothing short of a catalyst of spiritual growth. But what, exactly, does the term “twin flame” mean? And, perhaps more importantly, how do you know when you've found yours?

"These high-level spiritual love connections do exist, but there's a pretty serious misunderstanding of what that means," says psychospiritual mentor and love coach Lisa Vallejos. Many people assume that a twin flame connection is the same thing as a romantic soul mate and use the terms interchangeably, but these are entirely different things. For instance, have you ever had a platonic friendship that felt as profound as any soul-mate romance, perhaps leaving you with similar battle wounds and stories of epic adventure? Or, perhaps you start a new job expecting to hate your coworkers but end up finding a mentor who feels like a parent figure that you've been missing. “It can even be a parent-child relationship; it’s definitely doesn’t have to be romantic,” Vallejos notes. While they can be romantic relationships, these deep connections can also be completely platonic in nature. After all, sex isn't everything, and twin flames are intense and life-changing relationships that can forever change who you are.

So, what is a twin flame?

Contrary to popular belief, the concept of twin flames is not the same as soul mates. Your twin flame doesn't even have to be someone you fall in love with (although it often is). "This kind of high-level, soul-based connection isn’t about romance. It’s about spiritual growth," says Vallejos. "You meet them and your life just completely changes. You start seeing the world differently. It pushes you to want to engage with the divine, shift consciousness, and become a better, soulful being in this experience." As mentioned above, a twin flame can be a romantic partner, a best friend, or a mentor.

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What is the correct age to have a boyfriend?

It's important to consider your child as an individual. Consider their emotional maturity and sense of responsibility. For many kids, 16 seems to be an appropriate age, but it may be entirely suitable for a mature 15-year-old to go on a date, or to make your immature 16-year-old wait a year or two.

When your child mentions dating, or a girlfriend or boyfriend, try to get an idea of what those concepts mean to them. Take note of how your child reacts when you discuss dating. It could be a little uncomfortable or embarrassing, but if your child is unable to even discuss it with you without getting defensive or upset, take that as a sign that they probably aren’t ready.

Other things to consider include the following.

Is your child really interested in someone in particular, or are they just trying to keep up with what friends are doing?

Do you think your son or daughter would tell you if something went wrong?

Is your child generally confident and happy?

Does your child’s physical development match their emotional development?

Be aware that for many tweens and young teenagers, dating amounts to socializing in a group. While there may be interest between two in particular, it’s not double-dating so much as a group heading out or meeting up at the movies or the mall. This kind of group stuff is a safe and healthy way to interact with members of the opposite sex without the awkwardness that a one-on-one scenario can bring. Think of it as dating with training wheels. So, when is a child ready for one-on-one dating? There’s no right answer. It’s important to consider your child as an individual. Consider their emotional maturity and sense of responsibility. For many kids, 16 seems to be an appropriate age, but it may be entirely suitable for a mature 15-year-old to go on a date, or to make your immature 16-year-old wait a year or two.

You can also consider what other parents are doing. Are lots of kids the same as yours already dating in the true sense of the word?

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