Photo: Nuno Campos

Do people judge age gap relationships?

Couples with large age gaps often face judgement, and while some experts believe that this could be about to change, others argue that young people could be becoming more disapproving of mixed-age love than ever before.

bbc.com - Age gaps: The relationship taboo that won't die - BBC Worklife

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A viral chart from 2019 keeps popping up on social media: a graph detailing Leonardo DiCaprio’s dating history. A Reddit user had spotted a trend – although the actor was 44 at the time, he seemingly only dated women aged 25 or younger, always breaking up with partners before they reached their 26th birthday. Responses to the chart were mixed; some commended DiCaprio for his ability to attract younger women, while others berated the veteran actor, begging him to find someone closer to his own age. Even at three years old, the chart continues to resurface, as commentators keep a keen eye on DiCaprio’s current relationship with 24-year-old Camila Morrone. The reactions to the actor’s dating habits embody the contentious views surrounding age-gap relationships – for some, they are a source of admiration, while for others, there is something inherently unsettling about coupling up with a much younger person. From Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, to George and Amal Clooney, high-profile age-gap relationships have always set tongues wagging. Although in 2014 the average age difference in US heterosexual relationships was a relatively small 2.3 years, many couples have a much wider gap. In Western countries, around 8% of male-female couples have an age-gap of 10 years or more, rising to 25% in male-male unions and 15% of female-female relationships. For some the gap is even larger – data suggests that around 1% of heterosexual couples in the US have an age difference of 28 years or more. Our views around age-gap relationships are shaped by thousands of years of evolutionary psychology, and generations of social and cultural norms. Within the last hundred years, economic shifts and increased gender equalities have changed what is considered a ‘normal’ age-gap, and recent social justice movements have increased scrutiny of power dynamics in mixed-age relationships. Couples with large age gaps often face judgement, and while some experts believe that this could be about to change, others argue that young people could be becoming more disapproving of mixed-age love than ever before.

An evolutionary nudge

Those who find DiCaprio’s dating habits distasteful aren’t without good reason. Aversions to age-gap relationships are very common and, like most taboos, they stem from thousands of years of evolution as well as more recent social and cultural cues. “In many cultures, it is not considered acceptable to fall in love with someone who is much older or younger than you,” says Dr Elena Touroni, a consultant psychologist and co-founder of The Chelsea Psychology Clinic in London. “From an evolutionary perspective, the drive to have a family can have an impact on who we choose to have a relationship with – both from a biological perspective but also in the sense of both parents being alive to raise the child.”

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Am I in love or is it friendship?

In general, the more emotional you feel about a certain person, the more likely you are experiencing love. For example, you might feel chemistry with your friend because you both laugh at the same jokes and have an easy time talking to each other. When you love someone these feelings are more intense.

wikihow.com - 3 Ways to Differentiate Between Love and Friendship - wikiHow

This article was co-authored by Cherlyn Chong . Cherlyn Chong is a breakup recovery and dating coach. With 6 years of experience, she specializes in working with high-achieving professional women who want to get over their exes and find love again. She has experience as an official coach for The League dating app, and has been featured on AskMen, Business Insider, Reuters and HuffPost. This article has been viewed 1,045,207 times.

Article Summary

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If you are struggling to differentiate between love and friendship, think about how intense your feelings are. If you feel giddy, nervous, or excited when you are around them, you may want to be more than friends. You could also think about whether you are physically attracted to them. You might be more than friends if your palms get sweaty or you feel butterflies in your stomach when they are around. Try comparing the feelings you have for them to how you feel toward your other friends to see if it's the same way you feel about them. For advice from our reviewer on how to move forward in your relationship, read on!

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