Soulmate Gem
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Do I have feelings for him or am I just attached?

Love evokes fond feelings and actions toward the other person, particularly. Attachment is driven by how you feel about yourself with the degree of permanence and safety someone gives you, based on your past relationships.

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You might feel like you can’t live without them. Is it really true love, or the nearness of them that you’re falling for? Share on Pinterest Westend61/Getty Images Pop culture teems with so-called “love songs” that more likely express attachment than love. You can throw a dart and hit questionable lyrics. Are the fervent feelings an outpouring of loving sentiment or a cry of codependency? Hard to tell. If you’re feeling chronically anxious in your relationship, understanding the difference between mutual love, healthy attachments, and unhelpful attachments might be the first step in growing toward something lasting, together. Difference between love and attachment How you feel and act in the relationship is probably the best indicator of whether the strong emotions you feel are love or attachment. Love evokes fond feelings and actions toward the other person, particularly. Attachment is driven by how you feel about yourself with the degree of permanence and safety someone gives you, based on your past relationships. In other words, with love, your person is “the one” you have feelings for. With attachment, your significant other could be replaceable, it’s how they satisfy your needs that gives them your attention. Emotional attachment vs. love A 2020 study of 83 young adults who claim to be “in love” described the differences between infatuation, emotional attachment, and love. Study authors explain: Infatuation is an all-consuming feeling that quickly and intensely flourishes at the beginning of love. It can be positive or negative, with features including: anxiety euphoria nervousness is an all-consuming feeling that quickly and intensely flourishes at the beginning of love. It can be positive or negative, with features including: Emotional attachment is a positive, comforting feeling of bonding that develops gradually, with features including: calmness comfort happiness security is a positive, comforting feeling of bonding that develops gradually, with features including: Love is a multifaceted concept, marked by a combination of infatuation, attachment, and cognitive changes, with features including: heart pounding (physiological affects) caregiving (behavioral affects) euphoria and anxiety (mixed feelings) enhanced attention toward, and memory of, beloved-related details (cognitive affects) is a multifaceted concept, marked by a combination of infatuation, attachment, and cognitive changes, with features including: Love, defined According to the American Psychological Association (APA), love evokes the following feelings: deep fondness

happiness in the beloved’s presence

commitment to the other’s well-being

awareness of how words and actions affect the love object Love comes in many forms: sexual

platonic

parental

partnered This 2021 review of romantic love develops a working definition. Romantic love: occurs at all stages of life

spurs behaviors reflecting a desire for long-term mating with the subject

helps people choose and attract partners, engage in sex, and become couples

frequently turns into a deeply committed relationship, even if sexual companionate love fades

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Am I in love or infatuated?

Sternberg's theory of love, infatuation is rooted in passion; you're wildly attracted to the person, you're excited to see them, the sex is great, etc. Meanwhile, romantic love is rooted in both passion and intimacy; you have all the ingredients of infatuation, coupled with friendship, trust, support, etc.

2. Ask probing questions

You need to get beyond the person’s day-to-day, and into the stuff of their dreams. If you’ve been dating for a while—at least a few months—you should feel free to ask where they see their life going, if they want kids, if they envision getting married one day, if they want to travel, what kind of life they want to have. This is how you see if you’re evolving in the same direction, and if you can complement each other along the way. It’s shocking to me how many people don’t ask the deeper questions, and end up wasting time with someone who isn’t in it for the same reasons (i.e. marriage, kids, commitment) that they are.

3. Talk on the phone

When I was dating, a weird sign developed among every person who was seriously invested in building a relationship with me: They’d call me on the phone. Hearing someone’s voice and sharing stories verbally, even when you can’t be physically with the person, creates far more of a bond and shows you’re committed to the work. It takes ten seconds to send a text; it takes set-aside time to make a phone call. Prioritize it, and command it from your partner.

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