Can you control who you love?

It's not possible to control your feelings when it comes to love. There shouldn't be a time limit or required amount of time. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen whether you like it or not.

marieclaire.com - Can You Control Falling in Love? - Marie Claire

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Do you really know who the “One” is? Your true Soulmate?

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I am the king of psyching myself out. And I have an acute fear of success. (opens in new tab) These two things result in the sabotage of a lot of would-be relationships. This self-sabotaging is actually very common. The more serious a relationship gets, the more energy and investment you put into it, the more you risk — and fear — failure. That fear is a defense mechanism. Despite our quest for love, we're scared of it (opens in new tab) and often try to control our feelings in an effort to minimize the chances of a broken heart. There are a list of "rules" people use to control love and dating. Here are a few:

The Timing Must Be Right

I used to think I had to be with someone for a certain amount of time — usually six months — before I could agree to a relationship. This may have stunted something that could have been meaningful. It's not possible to control your feelings when it comes to love. There shouldn't be a time limit or required amount of time. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen whether you like it or not.

Maintaining Mobility

Men equate marriage with the end of personal growth. (opens in new tab) In other words, remaining single will give you more ability to move to a new town (opens in new tab), or test out different careers, and develop as a person. This may be true, but in a healthy marriage, both individuals are able to grow while remaining a team. (opens in new tab) Of course, it's easier to be mobile when you're not married. And you never want to look back and say "What if I had tried this?" But you don't want to let that special person get away. (opens in new tab) It may be worse to look back and say: "What if I still had that person in my life?"

Time Restrictions

When you start a new relationship, you want to see each other all the time. In the back of your mind, you tell yourself to temper the time you spend together to avoid relationship burnout. (opens in new tab) But, if your feelings are destined to burn out, they'll burn out regardless of how much you hang out with each other. (opens in new tab) The healthiest approach is to do what your feelings tell you to do: Hang out as much as you want to hang out with that significant other. At some point, your friends may say something, or you may miss your friends. (opens in new tab) If you're in a healthy relationship, you'll be able to spend time apart when the time is right. These rules are classic cases of head vs. heart. You could be disappointed if you listen to either — you could miss out on something special if you listen to your head, but you could miss out on certain experiences if you listen to your heart. I've always lived by my heart's rules, but there's no right answer.

What are your thoughts on the above, and what other "practical" rules do you try to apply to relationships?

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Can bestie kiss?

One common thing to happen between friends is a kiss. Kisses are normal when people have intimate feelings for one another or are just excited and in the mood for physical contact. Sometimes kisses might happen because we are emotional for some reason and just act on our feelings without thinking.

wikihow.com - How to Maintain a Friendship After a Kiss: 11 Steps - wikiHow

This article was co-authored by Maria Avgitidis . Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist. This article has been viewed 320,290 times.

Article Summary

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Kissing a friend can be exciting if you’ve developed feelings for each other, but sometimes it can make things awkward between you. If you want to stay just friends after a kiss, you may need to take a break from your friend for a while to process your feelings. When you’re ready, talk to them about the kiss and express your feelings and concerns. Say something like, “Our friendship means a lot to me. I hope what happened hasn’t hurt things between us.” If possible, come to an agreement with your friend about how to move forward. For example, you might agree not to kiss again, or promise each other not to tell your other friends what happened. Keep having open conversations with your friend if you still feel confused. It may take a while to work through things together, and that’s okay. Spend time with your friend and do the same kinds of activities you did together before the kiss. If you stick to your routines and keep things relaxed between you, the awkwardness should start to pass. For tips on how to avoid feeling jealous following your kiss, read on!

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