Soulmate Gem
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Can you be friends with your twin flame?

While they can be romantic relationships, these deep connections can also be completely platonic in nature. After all, sex isn't everything, and twin flames are intense and life-changing relationships that can forever change who you are.

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A "twin flame" isn't necessarily a romantic soul mate or what someone might call “the one” — but they will always change your life, often from the very first time you cross paths.

Have you ever met somebody who completely changed the course of your life? It might have been your twin flame. You're unsure exactly why, but the meeting feels destined. They might not be your usual type or anyone you expected to fall for. But you do fall and hard. If twin flame relationships could be summed up in one word, it would be "intense." This is a person with whom you have such an intense connection, it feels nothing short of a catalyst of spiritual growth. But what, exactly, does the term “twin flame” mean? And, perhaps more importantly, how do you know when you've found yours?

"These high-level spiritual love connections do exist, but there's a pretty serious misunderstanding of what that means," says psychospiritual mentor and love coach Lisa Vallejos. Many people assume that a twin flame connection is the same thing as a romantic soul mate and use the terms interchangeably, but these are entirely different things. For instance, have you ever had a platonic friendship that felt as profound as any soul-mate romance, perhaps leaving you with similar battle wounds and stories of epic adventure? Or, perhaps you start a new job expecting to hate your coworkers but end up finding a mentor who feels like a parent figure that you've been missing. “It can even be a parent-child relationship; it’s definitely doesn’t have to be romantic,” Vallejos notes. While they can be romantic relationships, these deep connections can also be completely platonic in nature. After all, sex isn't everything, and twin flames are intense and life-changing relationships that can forever change who you are.

So, what is a twin flame?

Contrary to popular belief, the concept of twin flames is not the same as soul mates. Your twin flame doesn't even have to be someone you fall in love with (although it often is). "This kind of high-level, soul-based connection isn’t about romance. It’s about spiritual growth," says Vallejos. "You meet them and your life just completely changes. You start seeing the world differently. It pushes you to want to engage with the divine, shift consciousness, and become a better, soulful being in this experience." As mentioned above, a twin flame can be a romantic partner, a best friend, or a mentor.

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What is the age men are most attracted too?

It's a common cliche that older men chase much younger women, but charts from the book "Dataclysm" provide real evidence that men at every age are consistently most attracted to women in their early 20s.

It's a common cliche that older men chase much younger women, but charts from the book "Dataclysm" provide real evidence that men at every age are consistently most attracted to women in their early 20s. "Dataclysm" author and OkCupid co-founder Christian Rudder uses numbers from the dating site to show how women and men differ in the ages of the people they're attracted to. Men, regardless of their age, tend to say women in their early 20s look best, while women are most attracted to men their own age. To make these charts, Rudder looked at the preferences of OkCupid users. As you can see, a woman's taste in men typically evolves as she ages, while a man's taste in women stays the same no matter how old he gets. But there's another layer to this data. Although men at every age seem to be attracted to very young women, they most often message women who are closer to their own age. The age range of women men say they're most interested in tends to fall within their own age range:

The same goes for the women men message the most:

And hardly any men in their 30s message 20-year-old women:

Still, it's harder for women to find a mate as they get older. Rudder wrote in a blog post for OkCupid in 2010: "a man, as he gets older, searches for relatively younger and younger women. Meanwhile his upper acceptable limit hovers only a token amount above his own age." Charts reprinted from "Dataclysm: Who We Are When We Think No One's Looking." Copyright © 2014 by Christian Rudder. Published by Crown Publishers, an imprint of Random House LLC.

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