Soulmate Gem
Soulmate Gem
Photo: Ylanite Koppens
The five love languages are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Each love language exists on a spectrum, and it is possible to learn to “speak” all five love languages.
July 2020) A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural like affinity. This may involve similarity, love, romance,...
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Oxytocin is released into the body during intercourse, a hormone which is linked to "positive social functioning and is associated with bonding,...
Read More »“Love” can be one of those words that is used often, and in a variety of ways. I love my pet, I love pizza, I love my grandmother, I love that shirt I bought on clearance. Some people fear that a liberal use of the word love can take away from its meaning as it applies to interpersonal relationships. Others believe that you should tell someone that you love them as often as you feel it. The idea of “love” can carry a lot of weight in romantic relationships, and sometimes people feel anxiety about expressing feelings of love to their intimate partners. It is easy to assume that we all have the same definition of love, or that our partners know what we mean when we say, “I love you.” Different people can have different ideas about what romantic love means, and how it is or should be expressed. So, what does it mean to be in love, and how can we make sure that we are on the same page with our partners even after we have gotten to the stage where “I love you” feels like second nature to say? Dr. Gary Chapman, a marriage counselor, developed a framework to help couples address some of these questions, and strengthen their ability to communicate effectively in his book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. While Chapman’s book focuses on the relationships of heterosexual married couples, the idea of love languages can be applied to any intimate relationship. In his book, Chapman states, “My conclusion after many years of marriage counseling is that there are five emotional love languages—five ways that people speak and understand emotional love.” He goes on to say, “Seldom do [intimate partners] have the same primary emotional love language. We tend to speak our primary love language, and we become confused when our [partner] does not understand what we are communicating. We are expressing love, but the message does not come through because we are speaking what, to them, is a foreign language.” Chapman argues that speaking the primary love language of your partner can help increase relationship satisfaction, foster an environment in which it is easier to resolve conflict, and help couples bring out the best in one another. So, what are the five love languages, and how do you know what your primary love language is? Chapman developed a love language quiz, which can be taken on his website to help people identify and understand their primary love language. The five love languages are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
People may feel an instant and intense connection with each other, but the relationship may be full of highs and lows, and toxic behavior patterns....
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You know you're falling in love when your someone begins to take up major real estate in your thoughts. You might find yourself rehashing your...
Read More »Each love language exists on a spectrum, and it is possible to learn to “speak” all five love languages. It is likely that your primary love language will be connected to how love was expressed in your family of origin. Being able to express to your partner how you prefer to be shown love can increase your ability to feel loved and appreciated in your relationship. Also, knowing more about the five love languages can help you to notice the ways that your partner is showing their love for you, even if they are not speaking your primary love language. When using the love languages framework, it is important to maintain healthy boundaries between you and your partner. It is not okay to use the idea of love languages as an attempt to control your partner’s behavior. Each love language can be expressed in a variety of different ways. If your primary love language is physical touch, for example, that does not necessarily mean you’ll always and only want love to be expressed via sex. Consent is an important part of a healthy relationship, and telling your partner, “If you loved me, you would….” is never acceptable. Physical touch could mean holding hands, giving a hug hello or goodbye, sitting in close to each other when watching TV, or sitting side-by-side when eating in a restaurant. Part of learning to speak the love language of your partner is communicating about ways to express love that feels good for both of you. If your partner is demanding that you engage in behaviors that you are uncomfortable with in order to “prove” your love for them, or if they’re making you feel guilty for how you are attempting to show your love to them, that could be a red flag of emotional abuse. The framework of love languages can be useful precisely because it provides a way for you to self-reflect on your wants and needs, and then talk with your partner about these issues in a healthy way. For example, if you feel upset when your partner does not text you goodnight, that could be a sign your primary love language is words of affirmation; or, if you struggle in long distance relationships, that might indicate your primary love language is quality time or physical touch, and the distance part of the relationship is resulting in your relationship wants and needs not being met. Another way to discover your primary love language is to make a list of times you have felt loved and appreciated by your partner and notice any patterns that emerge. Only talking about what is lacking can make your partner feel their attempts at love are not being seen or appreciated, and that can feel frustrating. It may be that they just have a different love language from you, and they’re expressing love the way they like to be loved. As you and your partner are talking through this, be sure to tell them what you value about the ways they have expressed love to you, and what behaviors you would be excited to see more often. One of the most important realizations that can come from learning about the five love languages is the ability to more fully see all the ways your partner is showing their love to you, and to then have the opportunity to share what expressions of love are most meaningful to you.
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Read More »People can have two primary love languages – one for showing love to others, and one for how we prefer to receive love.
Maintaining close physical contact If a man wants to show that he loves you, he will always want to stay close to you. However, when it comes to...
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“Eye contact is an intimate and vulnerable act, so intense eye contact can be very meaningful,” says Fraley. “Deep eye contact, or holding your...
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Healthier mouth – saliva contains substances that fight bacteria, viruses and fungi. Deep kissing increases the flow of saliva, which helps to keep...
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Individuals with their Sun in these two signs are also traditionally "compatible" with yours. Aries: Gemini, Aquarius. Taurus: Cancer, Pisces....
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