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Can affairs be forgiven?

It can be hard to forgive, especially if your partner has broken the most solemn of their marriage vows. Surprisingly, infidelity is not necessarily fatal to a relationship. With the appropriate communication, therapy, and a willingness to let go, many couples get past it.

psychologytoday.com - Infidelity & Forgiveness | Psychology Today

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Couples who survive infidelity

Couples who survive this tragedy do so when the offending person takes responsibility for his or her actions and becomes open to dealing with their partner's pain and anger. Most people can't imagine living with someone who has betrayed them in this way, but the truth is that with time and lots of hard work, the heartache can be healed. In order to make this happen, the one who has been betrayed must accept that their partner made a huge mistake and allow them to repent. After ending the affair, the unfaithful one needs to realize that, for some time, their partner will pelt them with questions and concerns that they must truthfully answer in a kind and sensitive manner. It is part of the healing process and will also help the transgressor forgive himself or herself. Through this process, I have seen many couples actually grow, and though the affair cannot be forgotten, it can be forgiven.

Why affairs happen

Affairs happen because most couples enter relationships unaware of how to deal with their feelings both inside and outside of their commitment. Some people place far too little value on the depth of love and mistakenly think, "what they don't know won't hurt them." The real truth is that an affair will take energy away from your primary relationship and your partner will feel that on some level.

What forgiveness does

Forgiveness is not about letting the other person off the hook; it is about letting ourselves off the hook. Through forgiveness, our hearts no longer have to endure the torture that comes from holding on to the violation. Forgiveness, if it has been properly earned, can be a healthy response to infidelity. It can also be seen as a reward to the injured party for having lived through a transgression of their trust. However, forgiveness is not mandatory or necessary. In cases where the transgressor will not apologize or take responsibility for their actions, it is imperative that the one who has been betrayed must move on—even if that means breaking up the family and starting over. The logic here is that if the unfaithful partner cannot bring himself or herself to own their guilt and get help to understand why they chose the hurtful action, they will repeat it. Rebuilding the trust and intimacy that has been stolen by infidelity is never going to be easy, but it is doable. It begins with the willingness to hang in there and try. If this has happened to your relationship, you need to think before you react to your appropriately hurt feelings. Find a therapist who is experienced in this area and do some research on your own. A great book for those who are working through the pain of infidelity is After the Affair by Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D. Remind yourself that it's OK if you don't know what to do or how to feel. There is a road back, and though it is far less traveled, it is an invitation to a second chance at love and life.

To find a therapist, please visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.

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Who should Scorpio marry?

What signs are compatible with a Scorpio? Water signs like Cancer and Pisces and Earth signs like Taurus and Capricorn are the most compatible with a Scorpio.

nationaltoday.com - MARRIED TO A SCORPIO SUPPORT DAY - November 18, 2023

History of Married to a Scorpio Support Day

Astrology has played a crucial role in determining human behavior, worldviews and established many rituals. Before the invention of science and technology, humans had only the sky and their natural environment to seek answers about the world. Astrology became a way for early humans to look at the sky, patterns of the stars, and the moon’s cycles to find meaning about their existence and the workings of the vast and unknown world. Astrology has its roots dating back to the third millennium B.C. where West Eurasian people took cues from astronomical cycles to form calendars and navigate the sequence of seasons. Astrology’s influence was far-reaching. In 13th-century Europe, astrology was a part of medical treatment, and doctors studied the stars and celestial cycles to formulate their treatment. By the 1500s in Europe, a law stated physicians had to calculate the moon’s position before performing complex medical procedures, like surgery. Astrology’s validity as an authentic and legitimate field of knowledge started decreasing by the 17th century due to science and astronomy emerging. Several scientific concepts that were based on hard, quantifiable facts ruled out many of the assumptions astrology had been perpetuating. Astrology slowly became relegated to the category of pseudoscience, however, it saw a rise in popularity again in the 20th century when it started being supplied as newspaper horoscopes and zodiac signs. We now see zodiac signs as one of the biggest influencing factors behind one’s personality.

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