Soulmate Gem
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Can a twin flame be a life partner?

Because of this intensity, it's uncommon for twin flames to be a lifelong partnership. Rather, they are people who enter your life for a period of time to help you grow and steer you on course. "It is common for those relationships to separate because they are very difficult to maintain," explains Vallejos.

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A "twin flame" isn't necessarily a romantic soul mate or what someone might call “the one” — but they will always change your life, often from the very first time you cross paths.

Have you ever met somebody who completely changed the course of your life? It might have been your twin flame. You're unsure exactly why, but the meeting feels destined. They might not be your usual type or anyone you expected to fall for. But you do fall and hard. If twin flame relationships could be summed up in one word, it would be "intense." This is a person with whom you have such an intense connection, it feels nothing short of a catalyst of spiritual growth. But what, exactly, does the term “twin flame” mean? And, perhaps more importantly, how do you know when you've found yours?

"These high-level spiritual love connections do exist, but there's a pretty serious misunderstanding of what that means," says psychospiritual mentor and love coach Lisa Vallejos. Many people assume that a twin flame connection is the same thing as a romantic soul mate and use the terms interchangeably, but these are entirely different things. For instance, have you ever had a platonic friendship that felt as profound as any soul-mate romance, perhaps leaving you with similar battle wounds and stories of epic adventure? Or, perhaps you start a new job expecting to hate your coworkers but end up finding a mentor who feels like a parent figure that you've been missing. “It can even be a parent-child relationship; it’s definitely doesn’t have to be romantic,” Vallejos notes. While they can be romantic relationships, these deep connections can also be completely platonic in nature. After all, sex isn't everything, and twin flames are intense and life-changing relationships that can forever change who you are.

So, what is a twin flame?

Contrary to popular belief, the concept of twin flames is not the same as soul mates. Your twin flame doesn't even have to be someone you fall in love with (although it often is). "This kind of high-level, soul-based connection isn’t about romance. It’s about spiritual growth," says Vallejos. "You meet them and your life just completely changes. You start seeing the world differently. It pushes you to want to engage with the divine, shift consciousness, and become a better, soulful being in this experience." As mentioned above, a twin flame can be a romantic partner, a best friend, or a mentor.

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Signs of a one-sided relationship: They aren't there for you like you are there for them. You're the only one who puts work into the relationship. You're insecure and feel like you aren't enough. You make excuses for their behavior. There are more negative than positive emotions when you think about them. More items... •

If you're experiencing too much anxiety, guilt, shame, and resentment, those are signs that you have absorbed far more responsibility than you were supposed to, leading to emotional burnout and oscillating feelings of numbness and anger, Kim says. If you've reached your breaking point, she recommends doing what's best for you and ending the relationship. "If the partner responds with defensiveness, blame, or gaslighting, then it's not likely that much will change in the relationship anytime soon," Kim says. "Unless the partner voluntarily chooses to own their own choices and responsibilities, the relationship is set up to stay one-sided. The irresponsible party has a vested interest in keeping the one-sidedness going and maintaining the status quo because they could afford to not do anything further."

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