Soulmate Gem
Soulmate Gem
Photo: Caleb Oquendo
Contrary to popular belief, women don't fall in love quickly. Actually, science said in relationships between cisgender men and women, men are more likely to declare love at first sight. A new study found men actually fall in love quicker than women, and the reason could be biological.
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Read More »Society has a lot of old and outdated ideas about gender, and most of them are just flat out wrong. Instead of holding on to incorrect assumptions about gender (that, for what it's worth, can be harmful), we should forget about them completely. In that spirit, we have one more incorrect gender assumption you can throw out. Contrary to popular belief, women don't fall in love quickly. Actually, science said in relationships between cisgender men and women, men are more likely to declare love at first sight. A new study found men actually fall in love quicker than women, and the reason could be biological. A study of 172 college students found men reported falling in love earlier than women and expressing that sentiment first. According to Broadly, the reason men are quicker to say 'I love you' may be because women are biologically predisposed to be pickier when selecting a partner. Because being pregnant is a huge commitment, psychologist Marissa Harrison, who co-authored the study, told Broadly she thinks women my subconsciously postpone love to ensure their partner is suitable to have children with. Of course, not all women want children, and not all relationship lead to them. Another psychologist posited that the reason men fall in love faster than women could actually be gender roles at work, with men attempting to fulfill the expectation that they take a leadership role in a relationship. But it actually doesn't matter who falls in love fastest. This study does something much more important than tell us who's more likely to use the L-word first. The study actually debunks a long-held societal myth that's often used to discredit and disregard women. It shows that women are not the emotionally frivolous beings laser-focused on love and marriage that they're often made out to be. "Women are assumed to be emotional; sometimes overly so, or rash," psychologist Marissa Harrison, who co-authored the study, told Broadly. "Both men and women in our study presumed that women would fall in love and say 'I love you' faster than men."
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Read More »A rebound relationship is a relationship wherein an individual who just recently ended a romantic relationship gets involved with someone else despite not being emotionally healed from the breakup. Jumping into a rebound relationship can happen quickly after a breakup.
No one is perfect, and not everyone has to be 100% healed in order to move on to the next relationship. And to be honest, it can make a person feel better to have sex, get attention from someone else, and temporarily fill any other voids that may be there. That said, someone who isn't over their ex can struggle to form new, healthy emotional attachments. That's why, as a therapist, I would generally advise against getting into rebound relationships. It's important to remember that ending a relationship is still considered a loss. Many people go through the same thoughts and feelings as if someone passed away—therapists call this "the cycle of grief." Regardless of the circumstances as to why the relationship ended, it needs to be processed in a healthy manner. That often means taking some time and space to reflect on yourself after a relationship ends. I often tell my clients that after a breakup there should be a "detox period," where it's all about them. Take as much time as you need to work on yourself: physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. Figure out who you want to be in the next relationship, and take responsibility for your own healing. This may even include getting professional help. The goal is to make sure you do not bring any of the same baggage from your past relationships into your new one.
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