Soulmate Gem
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Are twin Flames the love of your life?

A twin flame isn't necessarily a romantic relationship or "the one" — but they will always change your life. A "twin flame" isn't necessarily a romantic soul mate or what someone might call “the one” — but they will always change your life, often from the very first time you cross paths.

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A "twin flame" isn't necessarily a romantic soul mate or what someone might call “the one” — but they will always change your life, often from the very first time you cross paths.

Have you ever met somebody who completely changed the course of your life? It might have been your twin flame. You're unsure exactly why, but the meeting feels destined. They might not be your usual type or anyone you expected to fall for. But you do fall and hard. If twin flame relationships could be summed up in one word, it would be "intense." This is a person with whom you have such an intense connection, it feels nothing short of a catalyst of spiritual growth. But what, exactly, does the term “twin flame” mean? And, perhaps more importantly, how do you know when you've found yours?

"These high-level spiritual love connections do exist, but there's a pretty serious misunderstanding of what that means," says psychospiritual mentor and love coach Lisa Vallejos. Many people assume that a twin flame connection is the same thing as a romantic soul mate and use the terms interchangeably, but these are entirely different things. For instance, have you ever had a platonic friendship that felt as profound as any soul-mate romance, perhaps leaving you with similar battle wounds and stories of epic adventure? Or, perhaps you start a new job expecting to hate your coworkers but end up finding a mentor who feels like a parent figure that you've been missing. “It can even be a parent-child relationship; it’s definitely doesn’t have to be romantic,” Vallejos notes. While they can be romantic relationships, these deep connections can also be completely platonic in nature. After all, sex isn't everything, and twin flames are intense and life-changing relationships that can forever change who you are.

So, what is a twin flame?

Contrary to popular belief, the concept of twin flames is not the same as soul mates. Your twin flame doesn't even have to be someone you fall in love with (although it often is). "This kind of high-level, soul-based connection isn’t about romance. It’s about spiritual growth," says Vallejos. "You meet them and your life just completely changes. You start seeing the world differently. It pushes you to want to engage with the divine, shift consciousness, and become a better, soulful being in this experience." As mentioned above, a twin flame can be a romantic partner, a best friend, or a mentor.

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We know physical touch can be a love language. If you notice someone always finds opportunities to touch you as you engage each other, that's often a sign of attraction. These kinds of touches often occur under the guise of an "accident," for example where a person brushes up against you or attempts to bump into your hand as you both reach for the wine bottle. Or they might reach out and touch your hand or playfully hit you when you make them laugh. All seemingly innocent actions, yes, but if you notice it's frequent, take it as a show of interest! Sometimes, these signs differ by gender. Signs of attraction from a woman include softer touches. "Women may lightly touch the arm of the person they're talking to," Schafer says. It's not an invitation to a sexual encounter, so don't misinterpret the signal; "it merely means she likes you." On the other hand, a man may place his hand on the crook of your elbow or tuck your hair behind your ear. Plus, there's always this age-old sign: When a guy puts his hand on your lower back to guide you as you walk across the street or onto the dance floor, that's often a sign of attraction.

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