Soulmate Gem
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Are twin flames love?

A twin flame isn't necessarily a romantic relationship or "the one" — but they will always change your life. A "twin flame" isn't necessarily a romantic soul mate or what someone might call “the one” — but they will always change your life, often from the very first time you cross paths.

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A "twin flame" isn't necessarily a romantic soul mate or what someone might call “the one” — but they will always change your life, often from the very first time you cross paths.

Have you ever met somebody who completely changed the course of your life? It might have been your twin flame. You're unsure exactly why, but the meeting feels destined. They might not be your usual type or anyone you expected to fall for. But you do fall and hard. If twin flame relationships could be summed up in one word, it would be "intense." This is a person with whom you have such an intense connection, it feels nothing short of a catalyst of spiritual growth. But what, exactly, does the term “twin flame” mean? And, perhaps more importantly, how do you know when you've found yours?

"These high-level spiritual love connections do exist, but there's a pretty serious misunderstanding of what that means," says psychospiritual mentor and love coach Lisa Vallejos. Many people assume that a twin flame connection is the same thing as a romantic soul mate and use the terms interchangeably, but these are entirely different things. For instance, have you ever had a platonic friendship that felt as profound as any soul-mate romance, perhaps leaving you with similar battle wounds and stories of epic adventure? Or, perhaps you start a new job expecting to hate your coworkers but end up finding a mentor who feels like a parent figure that you've been missing. “It can even be a parent-child relationship; it’s definitely doesn’t have to be romantic,” Vallejos notes. While they can be romantic relationships, these deep connections can also be completely platonic in nature. After all, sex isn't everything, and twin flames are intense and life-changing relationships that can forever change who you are.

So, what is a twin flame?

Contrary to popular belief, the concept of twin flames is not the same as soul mates. Your twin flame doesn't even have to be someone you fall in love with (although it often is). "This kind of high-level, soul-based connection isn’t about romance. It’s about spiritual growth," says Vallejos. "You meet them and your life just completely changes. You start seeing the world differently. It pushes you to want to engage with the divine, shift consciousness, and become a better, soulful being in this experience." As mentioned above, a twin flame can be a romantic partner, a best friend, or a mentor.

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What creates chemistry between two people?

Romantic chemistry focuses on characteristics present between two people, including mutual interests, similarity, and intimacy. According to Kelly Campbell, P.h.D., the more present these characteristics are, the more likely two individuals will perceive chemistry between each other.

There are few better feelings in the world than experiencing that newfound chemistry with another person. In the early stages of a relationship, even the smallest touch or briefest eye contact is enough to send tingling shockwaves all over your body. This feeling is what we usually call chemistry between people, or "the spark"—a twinkle in the eye, a skipped heartbeat, or flushed cheeks that indicate two people are truly connecting. But is there a scientific explanation for what we assume to be the chemistry between two people?

What Is Romantic Chemistry? Romantic chemistry focuses on characteristics present between two people, including mutual interests, similarity, and intimacy. According to Kelly Campbell, P.h.D., the more present these characteristics are, the more likely two individuals will perceive chemistry between each other. According to Kelly Campbell, Ph.D, there certainly is. Chemistry has also been used to describe lust, but for the purpose of this article, chemistry in this context refers to mutual romantic interest and compatibility—two potentially very important components of a lasting relationship. "Chemistry happens when various factors converge at the right time," Campbell explains. "For example, chemistry is more likely when people are both open to the experience. It won’t be as 'magnetic' or easy to foster a connection if they are in a rush, angry, or already involved in a great romantic relationship—people who are happily committed tend not to pay attention to potential alternative partners (a premise known as 'derogation of alternatives')." Meet the Expert Kelly Campbell, Ph.D, is a professor of psychology at California State University, San Bernardino. Campbell's research focuses on couple relationships and friendships. Read on to learn more about the chemistry between people and the seven characteristics that may increase that romantic chemistry.

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