Soulmate Gem
Photo: Ksenia Chernaya
In terms of happiness, a compelling argument for having an only child comes from science that strongly indicates that mothers with one child are happiest.
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Read More »Recently, I wrote about the practical implications of having a second child—the impact it has on careers and finances as well as the need for childcare support. Family size arguably affects just about every aspect of a parent’s life, including happiness. Maybe you believe that a second child will make you happy, but that’s difficult, if not impossible, to predict. Laurie Santos, professor of psychology at Yale University, explained the problem of figuring out what makes us happy: “We are bad at forecasting our happiness over time and especially in light of social pressure. Most of us make social comparisons, and we are very good at selecting the one comparison that makes us feel terrible." For instance, you may focus on your best friend or neighbor, with two or three children, who appears to have her life in control, managing her job and her family effortlessly—or so it looks to you. “Even when we get what we want or think we want, we are not necessarily as happy as we thought we would be,” says Santos. “Our minds trick us. Natural selection is about getting our genes into babies, but we should prioritize our individual joy and contentment. That’s under our control if we apply some effort.” Making the effort means weighing your reference points—your job or career, your home life and support system, and the lifestyle you prefer. Another child is not necessarily your ticket to bliss.
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Read More »Convincing evidence that having a second child may not be the nirvana you seek comes from Leah Ruppanner, a sociologist at the University of Melbourne. She and her colleagues reviewed data collected from about 20,000 Australian families over a period of 16 years with participants entering the study when the children were 1-year-old. In addition to finding that having a second child affects parents’ mental health, Ruppanner found: “Prior to childbirth, mothers and fathers report similar levels of time pressure. Once the first child is born, time pressure increases for both parents. Yet this effect is substantially larger for mothers than for fathers. Second children double parents’ time pressure, further widening the gap between mothers and fathers.” Ruppanner and her colleagues concluded that “The increased time pressure associated with second births explains mothers' worse mental health.” Those time constraints hold into adolescence.
Here are the different types of soulmates, how to identify them, and how to know if you should stay with them. Twin Flames. Ashley Batz for Bustle....
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